Great Sadness and Heavy Hearts

It is with great sadness to say that our daugther will not be returning home with us. As it turns out, we were one of three options our daughter had for her future....two of her options allowed her to remain in China and with a safe future. She chose not to be adopted and at her age, the choice is hers. The guide and orphange showed up unexpectantly during our lunch, the day we were to sign the final paper work. We knew it wasn't going well but thought it was part of the process of adoption with an older child. We had no idea the depth of the situation. The orphanage representatives and our guide spoke with her for 30 minutes and when leaving, they took her back with them to the orphange. We were completely caught off-gurd. It was very unexpectant. It was very sad.

This is a very rare situation and our guide who has handled adoptions for many years, says this is a first time she has seen this happen. We are sad and our hearts are heavy.

While this trip has been one of great sadness, we are thankful for the friends we've met on this journey, Sheila, Annie, Karen, Jagi, Beth, Kim, Kai, Johnny, Poppie, Stowell Family, Apryl and many others who have in one way or another touched our lives in a positve manner....the GSWI group has offered great support. Our guide Connie, handled our situation in a professional but personal manner. We could not have asked for a better guide. Our agency reached out to us, immediately. We are thankful to the friends and family God has placed in our path during our time of great sadness.

Once we return home, we will be on a plane 2 days later to get away as a family and begin to place this behind us and begin to heal. We're not ready for questions or to discuss in detail.

PS: It was very sad also knowing that Sterling was begining to accept her and was holding her hand when we walked out in public. The following morning, after she was gone, Sterling ran into the living area, searching for her. We had to tell him, she was gone. He did this for 2 solid mornings, before realizing she was not returning.

As most of you know, Sterling has been in our family for 1 year. He is the joy in our lives! There are still many concepts he does not understand and fortunately in this siutation, he had not yet understood what it meant to have a sister.

Meeting Miao

Miao is a beautiful girl!


11/29/10: Gotcha Day or as we refer to it, "Family Day" held a wide realm of emotions for all. While we were filled with anticipation and excitement, Miao was sad, apprehensive and overwhelmed, as to be expected when after 13 years of the same routine, friendships and a foster father, she must leave it all behind.

She came with a suitecase of clothes and a cell phone from her foster father. We asked the guide to interpret that we love her, care for her and want her to be safe, asking her to always stay with us. We must stay together as a family during activities. She was asking to go to the bank alone but through the guide, we explained we must go together as a family. We will help her withdraw her funds, exchange to US dollars and ensure she has all of her money. We will not take any of her money. We were told the money was savings when the orphanage would send a monthly expense to her at school. She never spent it. I'm thinking possibly the foster father set-up the account for her. We don't know for sure only what Miao told us, through the interpreter.

We were at the Civil Affairs office for hours. There were many families meeting their children. After meeting Miao and completing the necessary paperwork required on the first day, we decided best to return to the hotel and have a low-key evening. We at dinner at the hotel and called it a night.

She and I sat in the living room together. She was sad and didn't make much eye contact. I extended comfort by providing her tissues when she started to cry. I wanted to hug her but didn't want to overwhelm her with affection. We were all exhausted from the day and fell asleep by 9:00 pm.